


Painful Love

by minghaon



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 13:51:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5542295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minghaon/pseuds/minghaon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Minghao has to stay with his brother.<br/>Mingyu just happens to cut his own finger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Painful Love

Everything is like it usually is.

As always, Minghao walks down the stairs into the kitchen to get something to eat. Like he usually is, he's dressed in an oversized sweater to hide the marks on his arms. It hurts when the material of the shirt rubs against his wounds, but he doesn't say anything, knowing that he did it to himself.

His father side eyes him as he sits down, reaching for a piece of toast - it's all he's going to eat.

The sound of his mother coughing, to get his attention, makes the boy look at her. She's smiling at him, trying to make everything seem as happy as she wished it was.

"Honey," she starts, voice way too sweet for Minghao's liking. "Your dad and I, we've talked about this."

'This' being the things that Minghao does to himself.

"We've decided that it would be good for you, to come out and away from home."

It's only for them to not be obligated to look at him every day - he knows it. They know exactly what he does to himself, but they don't stop him. Whether if it's because they don't know how or because they don't want to, Minghao doesn't know.

Sighing when she notices that Minghao aren't actually eating anything, his mother just keeps on talking, not trying to force anything into him.

"You'll stay with your brother for some time," she tells him. It's not a question if he wants to stay there, it's a deal that they've made between themselves.

He never has a choice.

\--

"So your brother has to stay here?" Junghan asks as he kisses the bruise on Junhui's left thigh.

It's his fault it's there in the first place. It was him who had been stupid enough to walk into the sofa table. It had hurt a lot. Junghan's cries of pain had made his soulmate, think that he had cut his foot off or something. Minutes after, when the bruise appeared on his own leg, he knew that that hadn't been the case.

"Yeah. Our parents think it would be good for him, to be somewhere else than home," Junhui answers, not elaborating on the reason behind his parents thought at all.

It had been three years since the brothers had lived together. Having met each other at family-gatherings or special occasions, they weren't unfamiliar with each other.

"How old is he?"

Junghan moves from his spot on the bed to a more comfortable one, head on the pillow, facing Junhui. Smiling at the other, he can't resist his urge to peck his lips - so he does.

"He's 17," Junhui says, smiling at the older boy's affection. "He shouldn't be that hard to take care of, right? As long as I feed him he'll live right?"

The boy beside him on the bed nods his head, agreeing at that.

\--

Honestly speaking, Minghao doesn't really care where he lives. Staying at home or staying at his brother's place could be the same thing to him. It wouldn't matter since the only thing he does is, staying in his room all day anyways - besides when he has to go to school.

"It's been a while," Junhui greets him, "You look like yourself huh?"

It's a lie, of course. The youngest of the two Chinese boys knows. Over the last three years, has he changed a lot. His body has gotten thinner, his arms and legs a lot uglier. But of course, Junhui doesn't know how to react to the shock, that his younger brother isn't as he used to be. Nobody can blame him for that.

"Are you hungry? Did you eat?"

Too many questions that Minghao wished he wouldn't get asked. Shrugging as an answer, he doesn't really give a real answer. It doesn't really matter, seeing as how his brother looks at his watch and his expression changes to panic - he didn't see the shrug at all.

"If you're hungry, there should be some  food in the fridge," Junhui instructs him, while trying to wear his shoes fast.

Watching his brother leave the apartment with a "I'll be back at 11pm" Minghao scoffs to himself.

It would always be the same.

\--

A whine escapes Mingyu's mouth, feeling the pain in his wrist when Wonwoo starts to clean the wound. It's to prevent infection, the older told him. The younger doesn't understand why the older wants to clean them so much. They haven't bled at all - they were just small, a little deep lines in his skin.

"Stop whining so much," Wonwoo scolds him, not stopping the cleaning even once. "Your soulmate must hurt a lot more than you do."

Mingyu knows that and it hurts him a lot. To think that the person who he fits the best with in this world, is hurting enough to do this, hurts him too - not only regarding the wounds, but also his heart.

"Jun is late again." It's true. "It's probably Junghan-hyung's fault."

Wonwoo shakes his head at the thought of his friend being late. It's not unusual at all, making none of them question it at all.

When Wonwoo finally deems his work on the younger boy's wrist done, the younger boy sighs, relieved. As he's about to leave, Wonwoo lays a hand on his shoulder, stopping him on his way out.

"Don't tell the others about your wrist," he says, knowing that the younger would do it, just to be babied and ordered not to do much. That was how lazy the boy was.

"But hyung," he whines, pouting.

Wonwoo shakes his head, disapprovingly.

\--

"He can do it himself," Wonwoo tells his soulmate, Soonyoung, when he's about to take the tray from Mingyu's hands.

The way Soonyoung almost jumps, shows how shocked he was by the other's voice. The gaze he sends him doesn't try to hide it either, but it's quickly replaced by another one - this one more leaning towards pleading.

"But he's hurt." Soonyoung was the one who always babied Mingyu the most - he and Jisoo. The reason being, that he was too cute for them to resist.

"No, he's not," Wonwoo tells the blond boy, takes a hold of his wrist and gently leads his hand away from the tray. "His soulmate is."

Mingyu sighs, annoyed that he has to do his work by himself. Doing his best, trying to look hurt, he looks at his older best friend and sighs loudly.

There's not reaction at all.

"Fine. I'll do it by myself," Mingyu sighs, defeated.

Huffing at the elder he walks to the costumers in the cafe to give them their coffees. Smiling brightly, he assures them that he's okay, when they look warily at his arm. The happiness from his smile seems to affect them, as they smile at him too, thanking him for the drinks.

"I feel bad for his soulmate," Wonwoo suddenly says, making Soonyoung's attention go to him instead of the serving boy by the tables.

Nodding his head, he tells the other that he does too. They've talked about it many times, Wonwoo being worried for Mingyu. What will happen when he actually finds his soulmate? What if they die before he gets the chance to even see how they look?

That's when they hear the door to the cafe open, Junhui entering breathing heavily.

"Wen Junhui if you're late because of Junghan one more time, you won't have a job anymore," Seungcheol - the manager for the cafe - warns him. It's not the first time he does that and no matter how many times he does, they all know he won't fire the younger boy anyways.

"It wasn't Junghan," he defends himself, breathing finally calming down. That gains attention. It's always Junghan.

"My brother came from China," he tells them, "He has to stay with me for some time."

The almost - not really - angry look on Seungcheol's face turns into curiosity. None of his coworkers and friends knew that he had a brother. He was never mentioned at all.

"Oh," Seungcheol exclaims, looking with wide eyes at the other boy. "Just don't be late next time."

Junhui nods his head, smiling gratefully at the other for not scolding him too much.

\--

It's 11:13 pm, when Junhui opens the door to his - now shared - apartment. Body tired, he wants nothing more than to just go to sleep and wake up for another day tomorrow. He can't. First, he has to check up on his brother, wanting to catch up with how the younger boy is.

Looking at the kitchen, it seems like everything is like it was when he went out - meaning that the younger hasn't eaten anything.

Deciding to take a shower before talking with his brother, Junhui walks to the bathroom only to find the door locked. He sighs.

"Minghao, could you hurry up?" he asks through the door, trying to act like he usually did when they lived together three years ago.

There's no answer. Only silence.

"Minghao?" he calls again, taking a hold of the door handle, trying to pry the door open.

There's still no answer.

"Open the door, Minghao!" he yells, hitting the door hard with his fists.

When he still doesn't get an answer, he starts to panic - the tiredness from earlier totally gone. There is a spare key, he remembers, but where. He has no idea.

Deciding that it'll take more time to look for it, he calls Junghan - the older always knows where those things are.

The phone rings once, before the other end answers.

"Jun-"

"Where is the spare key for the bathroom?" Junhui asks, not letting his soulmate say any kind of greeting.

His hand is constantly knocking on the bathroom door, making it obvious for the man on the other end of the phone, that something is definitely wrong.

"It's in the same drawer as your socks," Junghan answers without asking any questions. Before hanging up, he tells the younger that he'll be there in a bit.

That's one of the times where Junhui is very thankful for having the elder as his soulmate.

Once he gets the door opened, he's shocked at the sight that meets him.

His younger brother - the boy who looked up to him when he was younger - is sitting on the floor, back leaning against the wall. His eyes are closed and his mouth parted a little bit. There's blood on the floor. A lot of blood. What scares Jun the most is that it all comes from the younger's thin wrist.

"Minghao, please wake up," the elder says, shaking the younger boy gently.

There's no answer. No movement. Nothing.

"I called the ambulance." It's Junghan.

He's standing in the door, looking at the two brothers. Though he looks calm, he's also shocked and worried.

\--

"It's not that deep," the doctor assures them as he starts to wrap the Chinese boy's wrist in a bandage.

Minghao looks at him, confused. Not understanding anything the man says only adds to his confusion. He had woken up on the way to the hospital, with a crying brother by his side who was clutching his hand. Everything that was going on had been in Korean, which made it impossible for him to understand anything.

Junhui had told him that he was okay to go home though.

Glancing at the guy who's standing behind his brother - who was sitting down - with his hands on the other's shoulders, he wonders why none of them has scolded him. There has been no yelling. No demand of knowing why he did it, only encouraging smiles and 'it's okay's from his brother. Their parents always yelled at him, asking him why he would be so selfish.

"It's late," Junhui tells Junghan in Korean, when they arrive at the apartment. "You should head home."

It's not to be rude, it's because the Chinese man feels bad for keeping the other up this late. Nodding his head, Junghan leans in to kiss his soulmate's lips.

"I'll talk to you later," he says when they pull away from each other.

Junhui nods, giving the older man's hand a squeeze before letting go.

\--

Everything Minghao wants to do is stay in his bed the whole day. His wrist hurts and he's not in the mood to move at all.

He couldn't though. No matter how much he whined, his brother said no - he is going to work with him.

The younger knows it's because he's worried. Worried that something like yesterday is going to happen, and he can't really blame him at all. He would be worried too.

"Hurry up, would you?" Junhui asks.

He's once again trying to be the brother he was three years ago, but he's not sure how well he is at it. Seeing his younger brother in the usual oversized sweater hurts him - he used to be a bright child.

"If I'm late Seungcheol will be mad."

Minghao is surprised that the elder is able to be like that; casual with him even though he saw him in his weakest state yesterday. It's admirable he thinks.

\--

"Why do I have to go with you again?" Minghao asks for who knows which time.

They are at the entrance of the cafe. Junhui's hands are on the younger boy's shoulders, pushing him inside because apparently it's too hard for him to walk by himself.

"I can clearly not let you be at home by yourself," Junhui tells him as they enter the cafe.

It's the first time, that the other really mentions the happening yesterday. The tone in his voice is gently, no sign of anger from yesterday.

After that, Minghao stops struggling and lets the elder push him inside.

"Wen Jun-" Seungcheol says as soon as he spots the other in the door. The exclamation comes to a halt, when he notices the boy in front of his coworker.

He doesn't say anything, but he sends Junhui a curious gaze and nods his head when the other nods his. Minghao sees the exchange, but doesn't understand what Junhui says after that. Not that he really cares either.

"He's not late today hyung," Mingyu tells Wonwoo as both of them see Junhui. "That must be his brother right?"

Nodding his head, the older of the two best friends gives his answer. It's pretty obvious, but Mingyu likes to seem smart, so he doesn't mention anything about it.

That's when Seokmin walks by them, tray full of empty cups and plates. Somehow, he ends up tripping over his own feet falling to the ground, all the cups and plates shattered around him.

"Lee Seokmin," Seungcheol yells from his place in front of Junhui. With a sharp turn he turns towards the direction of the younger.

"It was a mistake," the younger says, pouting. "It's mostly your fault actually. You're the one who hurt your arm yesterday. If you didn't my arm wouldn't feel so week."

Seungcheol sighs at his soulmate. Though he doesn't agree on it being his fault, he can't be mad at the other either. Shaking his head lightly, he points at Mingyu and tells him to help Seokmin clean up. The tall boy does as he's told.

"That's Seungcheol's soulmate, Seokmin," Junhui explains to Minghao. The smaller Chinese boy doesn't understand anything that's happening, but he nods his head understandingly at his brother's explanation.

Suddenly they hear Mingyu hiss from the other end of the room. Not more than a second after, Minghao does the same feeling a slight pain in his right index finger.

Everything freezes. Junhui freezes. Minghao freezes. Mingyu freezes. Everybody freezes as they hear the two hissing almost at the same time.

Minghao stares at the Korean boy who has blood dripping from his finger. This can't be real. It can't be.

One of the boys beside the Korean boy says something which makes the Korean boy hit him lightly.

"Seems like Mingyu is your soulmate," Junhui mumbles.

Mingyu. It's a pretty name, the younger's mind decides without him even noticing. Not sure whether if it's considered a pretty name by Korean standards, he doesn't say anything at all.

"I'll go get you something to eat," Junhui tells him, "I'll make Mingyu watch you so I'm sure you eat it all."

So he did know about him not eating anything yesterday, Minghao thinks, not really registering the end of the sentence. Not before it's too late that is.

"Don't do that," he says loudly to the back of his brother, who's in the middle of walking to the kitchen.

"Just sit down somewhere," is the only answer he gets before his brother has disappeared from sight.

Sighing to himself, not sure what to do about everything that just happened, he slumps down on the chair closest to where he's standing.

Feeling eyes on him, he looks in the direction only to see all of Junhui's coworkers stare at him - his soulmate included. As fast as he can, he looks away. Attention is one of the things he hates the most. Eyes on him makes him feel small and exposed.

\--

"Give this to him and make sure he eats it all," Junhui instructs Mingyu who's staring at him with big eyes.

A whine threatens to escape his mouth, but the look Wonwoo sends him makes it stop. It's clear that he's not happy about this at all, but he can't really escape it either.

"I have to work," he complains.

"You're hurt," Wonwoo tells him and points at the younger's finger. "You can't work like that."

The younger glares at him hard enough for him to be dead, if glances could kill. Luckily they can't. Never had he thought the older would use that argument against him. It wasn't fair.

"He won't understand what I say." He can't just give up like that.

"Just point at the food and he'll know. Make sure he eats it all too," Junhui tells him.

Junhui knows that Mingyu hates him and Wonwoo right now. That gives him something in common with Minghao, because he knows that the younger Chinese boy also hates him right now. A lot even.

Mingyu sighs, but finally does what he's told to as he takes the tray with food from the older and heads towards his - apparent - soulmate, heart beating fast and hard in his chest.

Minghao glances at him, but looks away fast after. Not knowing where to look, he settles for staring at the food Mingyu has placed in front of him. A very big part of him had hoped for the boy to leave again - that his brother hadn't meant what he had said. The tiny hope he had is shattered, when the Korean boy sits down in front of him.

The tall boy says something in Korean and points at the food.

Minghao guesses that he wants him to eat - he knows it's not Mingyu who wants him to eat, it's Junhui. Cursing the older Chinese boy silently, he begins to eat anyways.

Feeling the constant eyes on him, he looks up and glares at the Korean boy who's staring at him.

"What?" he asks annoyed, completely aware that the other doesn't understand what he's saying.

"Be nice, Minghao," Jun says loudly from his place behind the counter. The only thing Minghao gets in return when he glares at him is a chuckle.

Mingyu has no idea what's going on, but he doesn't really care. It's enjoyable for some reason to watch the other boy eat.

Realizing that he hasn't introduced himself or even greeted the other, he points at himself and says his name. It's his only way of doing it he tells himself.

The Chinese boy looks at him and nods his head. He wants to tell him that he knows already, but he can't because of the language barrier. Pointing at himself, he does the same thing as his soulmate.

"Minghao."

It's weird. They just look at each other, trying to pronounce the other's name. It's weird, but for some reason it also feels right. Minghao almost laughs at the way Mingyu says his name. It's the first time in 3 years he's felt like - almost - laughing. It's even because of a total stranger, he's only just met today.

\--

The next day, Minghao doesn't put up a fight when he has to follow his brother to work. For some reason - which has nothing to do with meeting Mingyu again, of course - it feels like the right thing to do. As if he knows that he shouldn't stay at home.

On reflect he starts to smile when he sees his soulmate. Not because he looks funny - he actually does, since he's apparently doing his best at trying to hold as many plates as possible - but because he feels the happiness spread in his gut. It's a good feeling and it's the best he's felt in a very long time.

As soon as Mingyu notices him he smiles and tries to wave - he can't when his arms are full of plates.

It's weird really. Just because they're soulmates, Minghao suddenly feels happy seeing the other. Warmth spreads in his stomach and he can't help but smile.

Like the day before, he sits down by one of the closest tables. Today his eyes keeps on following the tall boy.

"I'll get you some food," Junhui tells him, leaving him alone by the table once again.

Minghao knows that his brother is just making sure that he eats something. It's not healthy not to eat anything. It's something he's been told a lot of times, but it never really made a difference to him. Today however, he wants to eat. For the first time in years, he feels like eating.

Even though Junhui was the one to go to get him food, Mingyu's the one who comes back with it. Sending the Chinese boy a big smile, he sits down in front of him and pushes the food towards him.

"Thank you," Minghao mumbles, trying to use the Korean word his brother taught him yesterday.

The way the sound of his voice brings light to the Korean boy's face, makes Minghao believe that he did something right. He made someone happy. Somebody smiled because of him.

\--

"Does this hurt?" Mingyu asks as he untangles the bandages from his soulmate's hurt wrist. The other boy just stares at him before tilting his head slightly to the side - he has no idea what the other is trying to ask him.

"Hurt?" the Korean boy asks - this time using his limited English knowledge, hoping that the other has as much knowledge about it as he does; close to none, but enough to communicate like this.

Shaking his head, Minghao tells him that it doesn't hurt. At least it doesn't hurt a lot. It's not too much to handle, so he'll be fine.

As he wraps new bandages around the smaller boy's thin wrist, Mingyu can't help but wonder why he hurt himself. Was his life really hard enough for himself to just want to be gone? Did he not have anything to live for at all?

"Why?" the tall boy asks in English, looking intensively at the wrist and what he's doing, to avoid eye contact. Frankly speaking, he's not sure if it was too much to ask - they had only known each other for two days.

Sighing quietly to himself, Minghao glances down at the floor before he starts to talk.

"I was bullied," he starts, speaking in Chinese but the look on the other's face makes him continue in his native language. The slightly older boy will just go to Junhui for some kind of an explanation later, so Minghao continues his speech.

"They told me things. I was useless and nobody liked me." He has to stop to take a small break, doing his best at keeping his tears from falling.

"They beat me up and laughed at me. I hear their words in my head sometimes. I'm useless, I'm ugly, I'm unwanted, I'm disgusting. I just can't deal with it sometimes."

He really wants to say more, but the tears are already streaming down his cheeks like small waterfalls. Before he even gets to say anything more, there's a pair of arms around him, holding him tight. Even though Minghao doesn't understand what Mingyu's saying, it's somehow calming.

As he sits there, feeling the warmth of the other boys and the sound of the other boy's voice, he feels that maybe something is right. Maybe he's wanted and maybe - only maybe - he might be able to feel good again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on tumblr and asianfanfics


End file.
